We date like we're ordering takeaway

Image Source: Tumblr

We live in a world where we date like we're ordering our favourite Thai takeaway on UberEats. Easily accessible, click, click, swipe, swipe, add to cart, see you in 30 minutes. The choices we are presented are endless. Why have Pad Thai again, when there's one gigantic fucking buffet of mediocre choices at our fingertips? Our eyes are always wandering, we never fixate them on one singular thing. We're swiping through choices faster than our local check-out chick can swipe our groceries. Look at all these opportunities, all these chances we're given served up on a brightly lit iPhone every day. Who cares when an opportunity is lost or the satisfaction wears off, we've got endless choices and we know it, so we jump to another app to get that instant gratification, to get the attention from someone new, a new distraction and a jolt of excitement.

Our lives are 140 characters in a Tinder bio, it's the profile picture where you're looking happy and living your best life, SWIPE RIGHT, instant attraction. It's the perfectly executed witty one liners and placement of the right emojis or perhaps a funny gif. Our relationships are added to Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, shower them with attention every day. Like, like, like. It's delete Tinder, but only for a while. It's tagging in pictures, making future plans, but not too far in the future that's too daunting, maybe just this upcoming week. It's removing of pictures, deleting of all social media and then blocking their contact number, pretend they never existed. It's re-install Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, whatever your fucking poison is.

We think a person liking our Instagram photo means something. We think them viewing every story we post means they want to fuck us when really they're killing time on the toilet. We think intimacy is eye-fucking each other from across the bar. We think a "goodnight" message equals romance and effort. Hell, we don't even know what effort or romance really looks like or feels like, because none of us stay around long enough to find out, and why would we bother when we can just throw out a super-like, say a few fake charming lines to lure the next one in and be on our way to a new choice in an hour?

We’re so connected yet disconnected at the same time. We want love and to be loved in return but we don’t want to put in the hard yards for it. We expect love to be presented on a silver platter, wrapped in a bow, like our meals are, instantly. But love is not like how the movies portray it. Love is calm, patient, comfortable. Our vocabulary consists of "leave me alone", "this isn't working", "I'm not sorry for breaking your heart, we were never really exclusive", "I'm just too busy right now", "you're not worth my time", "I need something more". Or if you’re a real dick, you ghost the person. And that in its self shows you who that person really is. Dishonest, a coward. Why would you even want that? We selfishly make decisions because that's all we know. And yet, when we finally slow down and sit alone for a while, we wonder why we're left so fucking empty, unfulfilled, miserable and slightly broken. We have no idea how to see our lives for what it really is instead of what it isn't. We're constantly comparing our lives and relationships to others. We're flooded with so much stimuli and content, it makes us dizzy trying to keep up. We're left dissatisfied and in despair. We want more, what more is we don't know, but we're chasing it, searching for it, swiping for it, seeking validation.

Imagine what kind of relationships we all could have if we stopped for a minute and enjoyed the company we had, instead of thinking of the next when that person is still sitting right in front of us. True love does exist but it's something you need to build and work on every single day. Build a connection in front of you, instead of through a dimly lit phone. Show up to hear their voice instead of stringing words across a screen. Touch them, slow down, really feel their body with your fingers. We all want a home, someone we can come to and lay our heads on their shoulders when life gets tough. Isn't that the definition of a home? Not where you are from but where you are wanted? We all need someone to trust, to catch us when we fall. Someone who will hold us when we feel unlovable and say "you are not perfect, but you're perfect for me, flaws and all". We need someone who can make us laugh when we’re happy or upset. We all need someone we can make future plans with, grande plans, life plans, plans bigger than tomorrow. We need something to look forward to, something to aim for, something to give us a sense of purpose, a family, a house, an actual life to share, someone to grow with. We all want closeness, simplicity, a life where we don't need to compare or receive likes, comments and re-tweets to validate how great our relationships is. We all want to live in the now, instead of living online. We want commitment, true intimacy and actual effort. We want to be happy and content where we are heading and who we are with. We don't want to have this overwhelming fear that we are missing out. And here's the catch, no bullshit, nothing painted shiny and made out to be an illusion: you're not actually missing out on anything, not when you appreciate everything you have in front of you.

We could have all that, but will we ever stop swiping?